Slowing Down, Resting, Being Bored?

The Lord needs us to be bored in ourselves.

That's right. The Lord wants us so bored of ourselves and everything that we can do so that He can show us a new part of Him.

Why is it that we read the Bible and search the Lord when we are bored? We choose to read our two page devotion with one scripture after we have already tackled the day. That is the equivalent of not eating anything all day and then going to the gym (burning 1000 calories) and then deciding to eat a carrot. After that, we are going to be weak, exhausted, and starved or nutrients. Reading the Word goes the same way.

I am a sucker for a busy schedule. I find comfort in having my list packed. You want to know why? I will never be bored. And somewhere in my mind, I have acquainted being busy with being successful. Do any of you guys do that too? I believe that hating college classes but doing so many of them that I am maxed out and exhausted is success. I have believed that going to the gym six days a week and eating a diet high in vegetables and low in protein was healthy. I believed that my walk with Christ was more significant than others' walk because a bunch of people were using me as their punching bag and emotional support blanket.

Want to know the truth? None of that is success. Actually, nothing is truly successful unless you are doing it for the Lord. Think about it, if you decided to do something without the Kingdom being your FIRST thought, how successful is it? What does it really accomplish? Stepping on some toes but... how often do we as a people go to work (a job that God has not called us to but WE decided that it was for our good) and make money, all with good intentions, but everything else in our life falls by the waste side? You know what that benefits? Our comfort.

We are called to be about our Father's business before we are about our own. We are meant to function in the Spirit realm before we function in the mortal realm. How much of what we do causes us harm because of our good intentions?

This has been on my mind a lot. I have recently been quarantined because of COVID-19. I was not really sick, just common cold symptoms and I lost my smell/taste. God really used this time to show His love to me and to overflow me with His spirit. The 12 days of rest have been amazing. At first, I was mad and upset because I, IN MYSELF, had plans that I subconsciously did not invite the Holy Spirit into. These plans were mine, and for my glory (in my mind). But the Lord so graciously halted them and said, "No, you're gonna take a backseat for a little while."

So I was upset, but I saw a post by Chandler Moore. His whole apartment burnt down, literally 99% of all of his earthly possessions were gone. Yet, he chose to thank God and to crush the enemy with joy. That inspired me, I needed to quit wallowing in self-pity and start defeating the enemy with joy. And that, my friends, is where the whole quarantine changed. I chose joy instead and I saw miracles happen (literally), the Lord was able to soften my heart to receive, and He poured His love out on me. Over the past months I have been going non-stop (literally. leaving the house at 8 and getting home around 8). I have been reading my Word and worshipping but I was always jumping to the next thing. I am so thankful God knows better than I do and that He sat me down and allowed me to receive His goodness, faithfulness, and love.

Quarantine also meant that I could not go to the gym, which for a while there became my second home. I worked out most of the days out of fear, fear that I would gain back the weight that JESUS helped me lose. Irrational, I know. Ha! I thought that I could reverse something He did. Forgive me, God, for ever thinking I had that power. Anyway, I could not go to the gym and it rained a majority of the days I was stuck at home. Some days I went out and walked but I couldn't run (tired). I found myself asking God if He would help me maintain muscle and not gain weight. And He so clearly told me, "I am the one who told you to start running, and you think that I am not mighty enough to help you pick it back up after I am the one who made you rest as well?"

Wow, God. Really got me there. I, in all my flesh, thought that my body was somehow greater than God's power. HA. NOPE.

At the beginning, when I was really upset, my friend (and future roommate) said to me, "I think its going to be beautiful when you look back and realize how far God brought you during this quarantine. Take time and choose to rest in Him." Those words have stuck with me this entire time. And it is so true! Tomorrow, I am free to go. And now I sit here and look back on everything God has done. The words that I have read in books, a string on my violin that popped, picked up a new instrument in return, progressed in keyboard playing skills, and, most of all, learning how to rest in His goodness, have all lead me closer to Him. I wrote a song, that's only for me and Jesus but through this time of rest, He taught me intimacy.

"No Fear In Love" by Steffany Gretzinger had been one of my favorite songs for some time now. This is because I truly have feared getting close to people because of previous hurt. And somehow that fear in the natural progressed spiritually and I began to believe that letting my guard down for Jesus would end up with hurt. So I stayed hard, and tense, and BUSY. But the Lord has reassured me that there really is no fear in love. Jesus is waiting to take you to His father, and the Father is waiting to embrace you with open arms. Because when you go with Jesus to the Father, you are covered by His blood and God cannot see your mess ups and sins.

So run to the Father, fall in to grace, be done with the hiding, there is no reason to wait (Run to The Father x Cody Carnes). There really is no fear in being loved by Jesus. And He loves every tender, vulnerable piece of you. He says, "I love you."