My Testimony: The Full Story

So I have always been a good girl. I have never partied or done anything that most people would consider bad. My family and I went through some crazy stuff (let me know if you would want the story of my family) and we trusted God through it all. I had been to The Ramp (a Christian conference in Hamilton, Alabama) before but I was always there just physically, never spiritually. Until March 17, 2017, when my youth group went on a trip to The Ramp. So I had dealt with insane fear, anxiety, and depression for a very long time. I was homeschooled so I didn't have what you would call "school friends" and life was pretty boring.

If you would have asked me, I would have said that I was saved. Anyway, that night during the first conference I told my mom I didn't think I was saved and I fully surrendered my heart to the Lord. With that surrender, giving Him everything that I had, He delivered me from every single thing, listed above, that I was dealing with. It was like someone took an elephant off my chest. Then, it became real to me that you never realize you're in chains until you are set free. At this point, fear had been a part of my everyday routine. I went through that year with so much joy, passion, and freedom. Yes, during that year some things happened that I wished hadn't and maybe I will write about then later, but I am so thankful that they did.

We get through the year and at the end, I am barely hanging on. The depression was real! It was like, the more of my heart that God had, the devil fought harder. I ended the year with another Ramp trip and this one totally changed EVERYTHING! So I didn't really want to go but being the daughter of the youth pastor, I kind of had to. I am so thankful that God took me to that little town in Alabama because He wrecked me. I was delivered from stuff I didn't even know I was dealing with. So much happened that it deserves a whole post for itself. Anyway, I walked away from that conference with a new passion, excitement, expectancy, reverence for God, and so much more! I was blown away by God!

So, I go into 2018 so excited because we rang in the new year in the presence of the living God. I am prepared to tackle the year and all the awesome stuff it held for me. So we get about four months into the year and our pastor moves to a new church that is on the other side of the state. This was a huge change in my life. It took one of my best friends, the only pastor I have ever known, and forced me to step out of my comfort zone to help the church. We went on a very long ride of healing, re-adjusting, preparing, praying, and seeking God for who He is and what He wanted to do in our life.

This sounds easy but it was very difficult. It took a lot of patience, faith, and rebuilding. I started to get irritated and lose heart because when going through difficult times like that, you see the best and worst of people. What I thought was the church and how it was supposed to be was stripped away (I didn't realize that what I thought was church, wasn't church, it was religion). I went through a stage of doubt and I felt like I was struggling. I would tell people how much I was struggling with school and life, but they would say I looked like I was doing fine.

Then, I realized that I actually was doing great (after some prayer and seeking, definitely wasn't overnight). I am 15 with a car, I'm single, no bills, good grades, and my heart is right with the Lord and there was fruit to show it. That moment when I realized that my life wasn't falling apart really changed my perspective on a lot of things. I began to expect more from God and, man, did He deliver! God showed up and showed out in my life. I finished 2018 almost as good as when I started it.

When looking back, 2018 was definitely a year of tremendous growth. In November, we got another pastor and all has gone uphill from there. This brings us to the present time, we just welcomed 2019 and all I can say is, "Thank you" to 2018. I am so very thankful for the growth, maturity, and realization that has come. I have learned who God is in my life and that I need Him ALL the time. And I know the story will go on. My testimony is not over until death so, I will keep on running towards the one who set me free and put me on my feet. So thankful for this eternal, personal, real, living God that I have the privilege of serving.

This picture was just one of the quotes that got me through 2018! How satisfying is it?