I Will Love You With My Yes!

Wow! I feel like it has been ages since I have written a blog post to you guys. I am sorry, not only to you but also the Lord.

There is a certain gage in me that knows when I have the right content to post on here (I guess you would call that the Holy Spirit), for a while that gage has not gone off. I was trying to figure out why. Maybe I was out of stories. Maybe this is a season of drought, pruning, or some other confusing stage of my life. I did not know. I have had these seasons before in my life, they really suck. During this period, you feel distant, have no motivation, and the devil comes at you like a freight train. But I have also noticed something else, during these seasons, I seclude myself from the Bible and normal fill that time with mean thoughts or social media.

All of the above is true. I was in a season of doubt because I cut my own water supply off. I was in a season of pruning (and constantly am) because God is revealing to me what happens when I do not remain in Him daily, and that comes with consequences. I was out of stories, but I have never posted a "story," all of my posts have been additions to my testimony and personal revelations. Every stage is a confusing stage in my life because I am a teenager and nothing is for certain, except Jesus. When I finally make my way out of the woods, I go through a period of fasting. Mostly social media and trying not to include myself with people that I shouldn't. As stated above, when you are confused the devil comes like a freight train, but Jesus comes harder with a way bigger train.

So today is the day that I walk out of this patch of woods. It will not be the last, nor is it the first; yet, each step to the light leaves footprints in stone. Something that I can go back a year or 20 years from now and say, "This is where I was and this is how God aligned my steps to get me here."

I was in the car by myself and I turned this new song by Lindy Conant and The Circuit Riders called "Obedience." This song is so beautiful, as well as the whole album! The Corus says, "I will love you with my yes, and with my obedience, I will love you with my yes, Jesus."

I was singing along but this was one of those moments where I didn't know what I was singing. So I began questioning, "what am I saying yes to?" A daunting question because, as followers of Christ, our yes should always be on the table. It is not a conditional response where we can pick or choose. Our yes has to be continually and relentlessly laid down on the alter along side of our life.

For me, it is hard to not flinch when something unpleasant is happening. Its hard to resist pulling our yes back when the world is telling us to. That is something I am learning, since this just came to my mind about thirty minutes ago.

Today, my prayer is that wherever you are, whether on a mountain top of stuck in the middle of the woods at the bottom of the valley, your yes is on the alter. There is no question. Today, my yes is on the alter, whatever the question or command may be.