Any other Perfectionists out there? Or anyone who just wants to know Jesus better?

Until about a week ago, I was trying to perfect everything in my life at one time. Let me just tell you, that will wear you out and break you down fast.

You guys have no clue how many messages, songs, and posts I have read on trust, obedience, and grace, things that do not come easy for me, in the past months. I read or listened to them but could never put my finger on it until my life came to a stand still. I was so worried about being perfect (not even to the world, to me. I put the most pressure on myself) and trying to please everybody that I was ruining relationships that meant so much to me. I finally let go... and now I am letting God have His perfect will in me, in His perfect timing.

The desire in me for everything to be perfect has not left. And ever true perfectionist can tell you that it probably never will. The difference now, in me, is that I trust Jesus to perfect me in His timing. That is a process. A hard one.

One of the verses I heard earlier by Christine Caine in one of her podcasts was Philippians 1:6 which states, "I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." This says that no one is perfect but if we have Jesus, He continues to perfect us until the day He comes back. How comforting is this promise? All we have to do is listen, obey, and trust. Three simple things that are so hard for us because we do not know who we are serving.

It took me a long time to realize that me knowing all the Sunday school facts was not a relationship with Christ. Until one day God implanted something in me that has never left. He said, "You cannot serve someone you do not know." I realized, in that moment, that I knew a lot of Bible facts but I had never independently opened my Bible and read about Jesus Christ. I had just believed what others said and I called my self a christian! Talk about hypocrisy.

Now this has been about a year and a half ago and I can tell you guys with full confidence that I have a striving and growing relationship with my savior. But it took me opening my Bible and trusting God to get here. And no, it is most definitely not perfect but once you realize WHO your savior is and that He has bigger plans and promises for you than you could ever imagine, you want to listen, obey, and trust. That doesn't mean that it will come naturally because, guess what, we aren't perfect. But it does mean that our heart desires to please and honor the Father, which, I believe, does make listening, obeying, and trust a bit easier.

Maybe you are where I was. I was trying to be perfect in school, music, appearance, christianity, giving, and everything that I was a part of. Doing this for so long made me lose sight of the things I love. I was too tired at the end of the day, from stressing over the smallest things, to paint, sing, play my piano, or write a blog post. The time that I have been absent isn't because I had nothing to say, I had absolutely NO energy to express it. Today, God wants to take that load from you. Recite Philippians 1:6 or 1 Peter 5:7 ("[Casting] all your care on Him, because He cares about you.").

Right now a favorite song of mine is Champion by Bethel. One of the lyrics (my favorite part, personally) says, "perfection could never earn it, You give what we don't deserve and You take the broken things, and raise them to glory." Go listen to the whole song because you will surely be blessed by this gem. This just reminds me that my own "perfection" could never earn what Jesus did for me. That was strictly love, grace, mercy, and all things heavenly and truly perfect because He was and is God.

I can take hope that I do not have to earn anything from Jesus, He has conquered it all because He loves me!!

So here is a picture of me... I could choose to be mad that my hair isn't perfectly straight or that I have to wear glasses because my eyes aren't perfect; but, instead, I choose to praise Jesus because He is my champion, He is my confidence, and I am alive and healthy. One of the last lyrics in the song above, Champion, says, "I know who I am because I know whose I am."

I encourage you, figure out whose you are. Then and only then will you know who you are and will you begin to be perfected by Jesus, the ONLY perfect human to EVER walk this earth.